Paradise at last!

Ok a GOOD friend of mine told me that I should try this blogging thing it's therapeutic, well I'm gonna give it a whirl..

Where do I begin how about I thought I met the "love" of my life who was going to save me from the Mother I couldn't/can't get along with and protect me from the world the way he protected me from my mom.. WRONG.. I did get to meet some great people along the way and finally have a sister something I had never had before.

But by the time I was pregnant with my second child, coming back from a nice relaxing vacation in Florida to see my parent's what did I come home to a HUGE MESS that included my tub, which was my peaceful spot my get away from the world spot to be filled with some other women's hair. Then her stalking me began, got the courage to leave only to come down with stage three hodgkins disease..

Have you ever had to face dying alone? It's not fun. I had to not only drive myself to my treatments and home but once I got home you think he helped with the kids.. umm no, have you ever been soo cold you laid on the floor and shivered and not even the hottest bath you drew made you warmer, granted getting that in that bath after finding another women's hair in it was repulsive... Couldn't stay in the bath long enough cause you felt like you had to puke but once you got to the toilet nothing would come up. And drive yourself with two kids one under the age of two to the Oncologist 6 times a week to get blood drawn and a shot that made you feel like you had been run over by a cemi truck for 8 months. I did have the emotional support of friends and family and when they could they even helped with the kids.. Granted I put on a brave face/act didn't want them to know/see what went on behind closed doors embarrassed I guess.

Why you ask he was never there, couldn't help, besides the other women.. Imagine playing on the couch with your kids they pick up the bag daddy's takes in his car all the time, ok not they the youngest looking for the gum they always see him give them to have her pull a half full vile of cocaine out of it. To run over and yank it out of her hand just before she starts to pull the top off to see what the white powder inside is?

And I always wondered why his showers lasted almost an hour, well once you pick the lock and catch someone with a crackpipe in their hand you'll know why the shower runs for an hour and why you always found pieces of brillo in the laundry.. I finally understood what I was dealing with..

So chemo done, Florida here I come and Paradise at last baby............................... to be continued